(WHY) THE ONLY PEOPLE I TALK TO ANYMORE ARE THE ONES I CAN SAY THE QUIET PART OUT LOUD TO

I REJECT A WORLD THIS PAINFULLY STUPID, AND YOU SHOULD TOO

Van Gogh, Hospital at Saint Remy, 1889

Hi! How’s everyone? Sorry I haven’t been writing much lately. I’ve been sick. From the light. Some summers are like that. Vampire blues. And maybe the truth is also…

I don’t know what to say. LOL. That’s rare for me. But I suppose the world has changed. And so have I.

I feel like estranged from the times we’re in. They’re alien to me. I watch people around me. And I wonder. Why do they want to waste their lives like this? On this? I’m sure you know what I mean. The narcotic haze of the screen. Me, me, me. Nothing, nothing, nothing.

Van Gogh once said: “art is to console those who are broken by life.” What did he mean by that? Why does it matter? What’s my point? Where am I going with all this? Shit, Umair, where’s the hook! You need to reel them in in the first ten letters! Fuck Van Gogh! Show Me The Money!

I don’t know what to say about the world now. Wait, that’s wrong. I don’t think there is anything worth saying about it, except exactly that. What can you say about…nothing? I look at the times, the world, and now? I feel nothing, anymore, about it. I shrug. I have better things to do with my time, consciousness, energy, than waste it on this. It isn’t appropriate, or healthy, to care about people who don’t care about themselves.

What’s the point of a broken heart? That question goes deeper than you might think. Van Gogh wondered, too. He looked at fields and saw them in a new way. What do you see when you look at the world? Here’s what I do.

What can you say about…the kind of shocking stupidity…absolute cowardice…all-consuming idiocy…we’re surrounded in, by? I’m sure that there are people who can talk about it endlessly. Someone call Ezra Klein or Mehdi Hasan or who have you. It’s a long list, mostly men, and they all have this constant look of outrage slash bewilderment. Wow, as if it’s all such a puzzle. Such good boys.

Me? I wonder: why bother? Are these guys serious? LOL. Don’t they see the world we live in now?

Let me say the quiet part out loud.

People have made their choices. And they’re fucking idiotic ones.

Should the rest of us, the thoughtful, sensible, and kind ones, go on wasting our lives on these hopeless, pathetic idiots? Trying to save them…from themselves? That’s what we’ve been taught to do. But it’s wrong.

And this is the genuinely great moral and intellectual question before us. Not: can we save the world, fix democracy, end war, hunger, etcetera. LOL. We failed at that. That part’s over. Because people are just incomprehensibly stupid, and getting stupider by the microsecond. Now it’s: how much more of us do we waste on people who’ve liquified their brains into gray neural mush, who genuinely like existing in a completely mindless way, whose their hollowed out cortexes only contain tiny needles endlessly automatically dispensing endlessly looping dopamine hits of TikTok, YouTube, demagogues, hate, rage, conspiracies, influencers, AI girlfriends, or whatever dumb fuck shit it is this day, month, year? Have you ever seen a human mind implode into slurry? You’re living in it.

Those of us who have, I don’t know, three functioning brain cells left know how these choices end. Know, not guess, suppose, imagine, or speculate. Guess what, we read a book or two. And yet. There’s the “surprised” Trumpist in that corner, wondering why they’re getting poorer, there’s the angry man-child in that one, whining about how girls don’t like him, as if being a sullen, sulking, misogynist was The World’s Most Powerful Aphrodisiac, LOL, there’s some poor guy over there, blaming everyone under the sun for his own failed life, instead of examining his love for the very monsters who exploit him.

Maybe you want to waste your life on this. Not me. Not anymore.

We’re living in their fantasy. Where do we draw the line and back away?

You know what I have to say about that? Fuck it. I exit. I reject it. Je refuse. I am out, finished, done trying to save these pathetic morons. You live in this tawdry, worthless fantasy, dumb fuck. But don’t ask me to, not anymore, and don’t fucking count on people like me to save you from your own stupidity anymore, either. We shouldn’t.

I prefer a life. Consciousness, truth, beauty, joy, love. I want to live. You die this death by a thousand billionaires, demagogues, stupidities, self-destructions. I am going to live. You’ve chosen death, which is what all this is, in lethally real ways, by the way. Hence, absolutely, with total certainty, fuck the destiny of slavery, self-destruction and stupidity—and then claiming perpetual victimhood over it, and then coming crying to people like us to save you once you see the mess you’ve made, oh no, I want democracy back, I want a future, I want money, don’t let them take it all from me—you’ve chosen. Fuck that loop of ruin.

So…

What is there left to say now? Nothing. Let AI babble what’s left of us. We’re already dead inside. Something in us broke over the last decade or so. Everything in us did. Minds, spirits, souls, intellect, moral horizon, imagination, sociality, decency, the idea that we’re to be anything but obedient little narcissists bowing and scraping before the very systems which diminish and enslave us.

What a fate that is. To become something like a willing slave, an accomplice to your self-destruction, to press the button on your own dehumanization. But people do this every day now, cheering, smiling, giggling, laughing. They don’t know anything else. And let’s face it: as much as we’ve tried, we can’t teach them a damned thing.

Why is that? LOL, who cares. Maybe it’s wrong of me to say that. But for the first time in my life, I myself don’t want to face the answer. We all know the answer, by the way. People are really this weak. They’re really this stupid. It’s surreal, but everything we’ve accomplished in human civilization over millennia, from Aristotle and Plato’s first schools to universities to science to literature—none of it in the end has been able to teach these idiots a thing.

Not one thing. Not…one. I mean that. Not…democracy’s good for you, dummy. Not…the system that exploits you is never going to free you, so try to oppose it. Not…immense concentrations of wealth and power are bad for societies. Not…everyone deserves dignity and resources and respect. Not…there are inviolable rights which are the foundation of the project of civilization, and that project is about fulfilling one’s self, not in narcissistic way, but in an expansive, noble, lasting one.

Fuck, not one of these lessons has sunk in. It’s not just dispiriting when you think about it, it’s also amazing, because before us we appear to be witnessing the death of the human spirit, in all its forms.

What can you say to people who appear to be dead inside in every way? Are they listening? Should you bother? Hey, you scream, listen, you’re…slitting your own fucking throat! That’s not a necklace, it’s a razor blade.

We can. Analyze it, psychoanalyze it, dissect it, justify it, rationalize it, explain it. We can proffer each other, thoughtful people that we are, every kind of rationale under the sun, from economics to childhood trauma to social isolation to emotional and material deprivation and on and on. And you know what? That doesn’t matter anymore, either. Because these aren’t children we’re talking about, and more to the point, it’s not them that we need to focus on anymore.

Oh no, these poor babies, won’t someone cry for them, they’re the world’s real victims. not little children dying when bombs rip them apart. Sorry, I can’t think of people like that anymore. Now I see these fucking morons as accomplices in, to, their own undoing. And I have little to no sympathy for them anymore, because it’s not my place to. Their own self-destruction is both the crime and the punishment. And no, I can’t “respect” that “choice,” as fashionable as it is to parrot therapy-speak and pretend we must respect everyone’s choices for everything. Some choices really are fatally fucking stupid.

So there’s nothing—zero—left to talk about it if you ask me. At least in the way we’re used to speaking about it. How did the world end up here? For fuck’s sake, we all know by now. Can we just cut the bullshit?

Can we stop fucking pretending?

Look at these idiots.

Do you think they’re even capable of forming a complete adult sentence at this point, let alone nurturing democracy or civilization? Where’s the world going next? Kill me with a pleasant, warm cyanide bath, fucking rip my eyes out, Oedipus…Jesus…for the love of…for fuck’s sake, we all know. Just…look at these idiots. These are people who can gush over 25 TikTok influencers, but probably can’t name 25, I don’t know, great minds in history, artists, poets, scientists, heads of state, anybody. Do you think they’re capable of understanding or admitting the gravity of the mistakes they’ve made?

I don’t. So are things going to change? For fuck’s…sake. We all know that one, too.

Look at these fucking idiots. The more we try to teach them, the less they learn.

You know what that makes us? The real fucking idiots. We were taught: no, no, you have to waste your life trying to save the idiots. With art, science, knowledge, reason. Fuck that! Fuck it to bits. It was wrong. Nothing could have been more wrong, in fact.

I for one am not going to be the greater idiot anymore. If these fools want to destroy themselves, hey, by all means, go for it. I’m not going to get in the way anymore. I’m not going to waste another moment of my life trying to stop it all. I’m sorry I wasted so much of it already. My mistake. I wish I’d been more of a cynical, evil, ruthless bastard, because, fuck, look at us decent and thoughtful people, where we’ve all ended up. We’re the ones who got fucked. Admit it, if you have the balls. I know you probably don’t, but this is the only place real change begins for any of us or all of us. Tell me you don’t feel like you wasted your life, too. Go ahead, lie to me.

And for that reason, I now celebrate the dummies fucking themselves over for a change. Let them, cheer them on, applaud them, don’t, don’t try to fucking stop them anymore. It’s the least they deserve. I have nothing left to say about it all for that very reason.

I failed, we failed, all our paradigms failed, and everything we wanted for the world was a stupid joke. That sounds bitter, but it’s not. It’s a relief. Let’s face the fucking truth.

Let’s say the quiet part out loud.

Let’s not overthink it anymore. “The average person” is a total moron. And that’s being kind. Someone basically incapable of understanding, wanting, needing, aspiring to anything more than fuck, eat, kill. That is why they’re so easily seduced, by things as mind-blowingly idiotic as fucking endless scroll algorithms drip-feeding them cheap fantasies of sex-violence-money-power, an infinite loop of pure death drive, and it’s why all the lessons of the last ten millennia have come to nothing, yet again.

What’s the point of a…broken heart? I don’t have anything left to say. Except on that subject.

I was wrong. The bad guys were right. People aren’t worth what we offered them, all these beautiful treasures, civilization, democracy, science, art, literature. Not in my eyes, just objectively speaking. Look at the state of things, LOL. Who did all that? “The average person” did, whoever the fuck that is, which is everybody, nobody, somebody, anybody.

Let it all burn. Pour fuel on the flames. Isn’t it all in flames, anyways? What’s the point of a broken heart? Who gives a fuck about an age this pathetic, stupid, futile, so much so that even calling it tragic assigns it a nobility it doesn’t have? Who should? I don’t anymore. Neither should you.

The bad guys were right. That’s not tragic, and it’s not noble. There’s no art or beauty or even truth in that. There’s just a sense of emptiness. Bad guys are dumb. Smart people tend to be good. And so the tragedy, my friends, is people like us. We have no place in this world now. We are looking for a thing that doesn’t exist. The bad guys were right about the bottomless stupidity of “the average person,” and they were right too, about us, about the futility and even deeper stupidity of trying to be good, decent, and wise, if and when people are only raw appetites of fuck-eat-kill. What is there left to say after that? What’s the point of science, literature, art, etcetera, after that? LOL, is there one? Fuck it, let AI have it, and let the fascists have the rest. Enjoy that future, motherfuckers. I hope you like being poor and enslaved.

If these mighty pillars of civilization all crumble in the face the endless loop of “save the fucking idiots from themselves,” then I for one am finished with that eternal recurrence. Fuck that, you be the one to try and save the fucking idiots from themselves. Good luck wasting your life on that particular endeavor.

The point of a broken heart is to find someone else with one, too. And in that people like us are different. We’re not just looking for broken reflections of ourselves in algorithms, mirrors, likes, fans, followers, we’re not just raw zombie appetites screaming fuck-eat-kill-fuck-eat-kill. We’re not just one endless narcissism imploding into nothing. The edges of a broken heart only fit around, into, with another one. And this is the point of it all, civilization, art, science, literature, life, all of it. Love.

Does anyone fucking remember that? They don’t, because people are really this fucking stupid. So much so that they’ve done this to the world. All of this, and I don’t have to recite the facts for you.

The point of a broken heart is to love, and this is the purpose of the human being, who is lost, alone, afraid, and naked in time, space, and before fate. And yet here we are, watching a world incapable of even trying to lift a finger to live up to this most ancient, simple, and obvious of truths.

So fuck, and I really mean it, fuck to the very last fuck-eat-kill at the final edge of sweet oblivion all of the dumb fuck spiritually bankrupt and intellectually decrepit morons who’ve done this to us, the world, the future, themselves. They’re not worth a second of any of it anymore, my life, yours, civilization, all of it, tout. I’ll be at the cafe, with the ghosts of all the broken hearted. Van Gogh’s whispering. Can you hear him? They’re the only people I talk to anymore.

Love,

Umair (and Snowy!)

PS ———> BONUS SNOWY AND UMAIR PIC!!!!!!!!!!!!